Is there really one "soulmate" out there for you — or could you have built a great relationship with any number of compatible people you just never happened to meet?

The idea of "the one" — a single predestined perfect match — is baked into most love stories and wedding speeches, but a lot of relationship researchers and therapists argue it's not just wrong, it's actively bad for relationships: believing in a single perfect soulmate makes people bail at the first sign of friction, assuming it means they picked the wrong person, instead of doing the work every real relationship needs. The counter-argument is that plenty of people describe an unmistakable, specific connection with one particular person that feels different from anything else — chemistry that can't just be manufactured with anyone compatible on paper.

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